The Weasley Wizarding Wheezes: II
by Sar'Kalu
Summary: OneShot: Mischeif is usually easier to wreak if you have a guide, and everyone knows that the Marauders Map is far more than just a map, it's a tool for any serious trouble maker. Beware Hogwarts, the Weasley Twins are on the loose again!


"Run, Fred, run!" Yelled George gleefully, as two scarlet headed boys jumped over balustrades and ran down the corridor; their ties and robes were billowing out behind them as they dashed down a hall; eyes bright with mischievous joy.

"George!"

"Yeah?"

Fred jumped over a banister to the floor below, "Do you think we went a bit far this time?"

"Nah," George grinned, he tripped, fell, rolled and continued to run, Fred paused and waited until George caught up, "I mean," George continued breathlessly, "The yowler deserved it!" He laughed.

"Ha!" Both boys skidded to a stop as Filch stepped out in front of them, wheezing and cackling with triumph. "I have you now you skinny red headed brats!" He lunged and caught their ears, "Come with me!" He grinned with maniacal glee. He dragged them along, "Teach you to do that to my cat," He growled.

Fred groaned, "I think we're in for it George."

"You'd think right boy! Running around, messing up classrooms, distracting and disturbing students, I WILL NOT HAVE IT!" Filch raged.

George rolled his eyes at Fred, indicating that Filch was insane. Fred jerked his head in agreement, causing him to yelp as Filch tugged firmly on his ear.

"In you go boys;" Filch said evilly, "Even those cursed marauders weren't as bad as you two." He snapped.

Marauders? Fred looked at George in confusion, what was a marauder? George shrugged looking mystified.

"Yes, yes, the marauders. Ha! Well I sorted them, as I'll sort you." Filch grinned happily.

The two first year Weasley twins looked horrified, sort out? What did he mean?

"Suggested punishment," Filch said as he looked at them cunningly, "One hundred lashes!"

"WHAT?" George yelled horrified.

"Just for locking up your stinking cat up in a suit of armour?" Cried Fred

"YES!" Filch yelled, "My cat was innocent; you didn't have to do anything to her!"

Fred looked mulishly at the care taker, "This is so wrong, Dumbledore won't allow this."

"And how do you know?" Snapped Filch

"Because at most you can give us a detention!" George yelled at Filch

"Yeah, you have no real authority here," Yelled Fred backing up his twin as he always had.

"You're just the care taker!" Cried George

"Yeah, what can you do to us?" sneered Fred

"ENOUGH!" Screamed Filch, "Never in my life, not even Potter or Black, no respect, worked here all my life, I'll teach them," Filch sputtered in a rage

Fred groaned what had they done?

"Potter, Freddie, he said Potter," breathed George.

Fred frowned, he had heard Potter too. "Wonder if Filch took anything from him?" Fred whispered.

"Dunno, where do you think it'd be?" George grinned

Fred looked about Filch's office, there were large cabinets, one was marked "Detentions" another marked "Harmless" and yet another "Highly Dangerous". Fred grinned at it. He caught George's eye, "That one, I'd bet you anything!"

George grinned, "Distraction or pilfering?"

Fred paused momentarily; he was slowest at running "Pilfering!"

"Meet in the kitchens after?" George whispered

Fred nodded gleefully. He watched as George got up and walked out of the office. Filch didn't notice for about ten minutes.

"You! Where is your twin?" He snapped, as he looked about his office, as though he expected George to jump out at any moment.

"Said something about dung bombing a corridor I believe, I don't really know." Fred said shrugging.

Filch yelped in horror, "He can't! No!" He shuffled toward the door, He turned to Fred, "Boy, stay where you are!" and with that he half ran, half limped out of the room.

Fred laughed , and leapt up, pulling out his wand he tapped the first drawer. "Alohomora!" He whispered; the draw rolled open, inside was a piece of mouldy looking parchment, a fanged Frisbee and an assortment of books and broken odds and ends. He grabbed everything that looked useful or repairable, he almost left the piece of parchment, but something about it was off. He picked it up and shoved it down the front of his shirt. He opened the second and third drawers and repeated the same process, empting the contents into his pockets and shirt. Then with purposeful movements he crossed the room and dashed downstairs, taking the stairs three at a time.

"Where are you going, Freddie?" Sang out a voice, a transparent fat little man swooped down from the ceiling. His black beady eyes gleamed with vicious intent.

"Peeves!" Yelped Fred in surprise, he narrowed his eyes at the poltergeist. "I'm going to the kitchens, Peeves, will you help me?" He crossed his fingers, he hoped that Peeves would help, and not yell that there was a student out of class.

"Why would Peevesie help Freddie?" Peeves wondered out loud.

"Because Freddie will give Peeves his entire dung bomb collection!" Yelled Fred, he listened hard and started to run when he heard a mad cackling coming his way. "Come on Peeves, please!" Fred hollared as he hurtled down to the third floor.

"Peevesie will help Freddie," said Peeves as he followed Fred, he was curious why one of the already infamous Weasley twins was a) alone, and b) needing his help. "How can Peevesie be of help Freddie?"

"First, can you find my brother, George, and tell him to meet me at the kitchens now?" Fred gasped

"Peevesie can do that," Peeves agreed, before swooping off to find the elder twin being chased by a harassed looking Filch. Peeves regarded the flight for a moment, before tipping a rattling chest of draws into the Entrance Hall. Filch screamed in frustration as a Boggart leapt out and started harassing a group of second year Hufflepuffs. Abandoning his chase of George, Filch sprinted to the nearest teacher, to request help.

George raced down to the kitchens and met a very curious Fred who was regarding a piece of parchment with amusement. Peeves floated over head, watching the twins, he had not seen that piece of parchment in nearly 20 years. He was curious to see how this panned out. He floated above the twins and read the messages as they appeared.

"George," Fred greeted his brother and twin, "Look at this. I tapped it with my wand." He gestured to George and held out the map to him.

_Who are you? How have you come to posses the Marauders Map?_

George grinned and tapped the parchment with his wand, "My name is George Weasley."

The map flickered, _Are you, George son of Arthur Weasley?_

George looked surprised, "I am, the person holding the map is my twin brother and fellow prankster, Fred."

_Pranksters? If you are indeed pranksters, Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs would like to challenge you to find the key to opening this map._

George looked at Fred excitedly, "it's a map Fred, a map!" George wiggled like an excitable puppy, he missed Peeves' smirk above them. Peeves had always greatly admired the Marauders and their antics. They had made Hogwarts fun for 7 years, even including Peeves on the chaos occasionally.

Fred rolled his eyes, "Yes, I got that George, it said that already! But how do we open it?" He stabbed the parchment. "Reveal your secrets!"

_Messer Prongs would like to remind Fred Weasley that this map is only parchment, and very easily burned. Messer Padfoot would like to yell at Fred Weasley and tell him to not wreck this most valuable and unique map. Messer Moony would like to apologise for Messer Padfoots behaviour._

"Wow," George laughed, "Must be a pretty amazing map." He nudged Fred who was standing there fuming. "Moony sounds like a goody-goody two shoes, wonder what he did to become a marauder?" Fred snickered in agreement before tapping the map again with his wand.

"I would like to tell Messer Padfoot to bugger off, now what do we have to say," Fred growled

_Messer Wormtail would like to say that Fred Weasley does not impress him with his words. Messer Padfoot simply laughs in Fred Weasley's face. Messer Moony would once again like to appologise for Messer Padfoots behaviour, and encourages the twins in solving this puzzle, as it will lead to excellent mischief._

"What mischief is this?" Growled Fred as he scowled at the map, above him Peeves chuckled.

"Peevesie knows what to say," Peeves said as he floated upside down looking at the twins mischievously.

"Peeves, can you tell us?" George asked excited.

"Peevesie can indeed, but Georgie must give something in return, Freddie owes me his dung bombs, what can you give me Georgie?" Peeves asked ingeniously.

"Georgie can give Peevesie a fanged Frisbee!" Interjected Fred quickly, looking hopefully at Peeves.

Peeves blinked curiously, "Where did Georgie get a fanged Frisbee?"

"He nicked it from Filch of course!" Fred said proudly.

Peeves grinned in appreciation, "Peevesie will accept the fanged Frisbee."

Fred pulled it out from his shirt, "Now what do we say?"

Peeves laughed, "I swear I'm up to no good!" He bowed, "And to close it, you must say Mischief Managed!" Peeves cackled as he swept away, harassing a passing Slytherin with his new Frisbee.

Fred grinned excitedly, pointing his wand at the parchment, "I swear I am up to no good!"

_The Marauders would like to congratulate Fred Weasley on almost getting the key right, but they don't think he is as serious or as solemn about making mischief as Messers Padfoot and Prongs._

Fred gaped at the map unhappily, "That's not fair!"

George looked at the letters as they faded from view, pulling out his wand he tapped the parchment, "I seriously swear I am up to no good." George frowned, "That sounds silly," He muttered. Frowning he thought for a moment. Then quickly exchanging a quick look with his twin, he grinned. "I have it!" He exclaimed happily, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good!" He said exultantly.

_Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs would like to welcome you to the Marauders map. Messer Moony would also like to congratulate George Weasley for his use of brains and smarts when presented with a difficult problem. Messer Padfoot would like to mention that Fred Weasley showed good faith and loyalty in trusting Peeves the Poltergeist, trustee of this Maps key._

The map unfolded itself and started to fill itself in, spirals on ink swirled along the parchment and created corridors and hidouts, broom cupboards and classrooms. But what was truly amazing about the map was the moving dots that showed where people were.

George and Fred looked at the map; they turned to each other and grinned, "Wicked!"


End file.
